Tomorrow and Yesterday

It is a cold and dark morning in the Valley. The sun is reflecting loudly off the half moon and I am up later than usual. Today offers another opportunity to write poems, be kind, and try again. Today offers another fucking growth opportunity, as my freind L would say. It turns out that, according to my doctor, I need to do some serious habit changing in the eating and exercising pockets of my life. This same prognosis happened to my friend A about a year ago and I remember how she focused and conentrated. She lost weight, she got more fit, she felt great.
But I happen to be a stubborn-as-a-brick-wall Taurus.
When I was growing up it was fat-free everything at my Dad's house (mmm chicken baked with slasa) or cheesecake and pork chops at my Mom's. There hasn't been too much middle ground in there, even in my own kitchen. So here today is, wintery and predawn offering me another shot to get my stubborn butt to the pool and swim; offering another opportuniity to forego the chips and the cashews and cookies. Here today is ofering this public, yet strangely anonomous way to address and speak out about what having a body is all about. Sometimes I float off into the postulating land thinking about other states of being-- unembodied phases in specific; the ball of light is what I call it in my head. I wonder to myself: when do I get to go back to that? Will this embodied part of existance be like a blip on the timeline of whatever it is in me that looks out of my eyes? And what does whatever it is that peers out of my eyes think about diet and exercise?
Well, much like and ecosystem, I believe that we are connected to everything else on a very basic level that can not be sundered even by the might and static of modern culture. And maybe, just maybe, this ________________ peering out of my eyes right now-- wondering with me-- knows how to become lucid in this waking life.